On my wife Emily

The pain of losing a wife Mrs. Emily Maloya 25 March 1975 – 16 January 2010


On Thursday 7th January 2010, as usual I came home at lunch hour and had my beautiful lunch prepared by my wife. We ate together, shared a few jokes as she narrated what has been on the news that day – both radio and TV. Yes she was good at following current affairs. I returned to office a happy man. Who could not, after a good meal?

After work, I passed a PTC shop, met some friends and while we chat, my cell phone rang. It was my wife. As usual, I cut the line so I could call her.

“Hello!” I said with a smile.

“mmmmm,” I noted she was not able to express herself but I got her saying she feel pain on the one side of her body.

I bed farewell to my colleagues and rushed home. There she was indeed in pain.

“But what happened? I mean you were ok just this afternoon,” I was at a loss.

With pain she explained that while she was comfortably chatting with her friends she just felt like something pulling her left side. I noted she was in pains and I called my doctor friend who within a few minutes was around. He administered medication that could lessen the pain before diagnosing what the problem could be. By nine o’clock in the evening, she got better and woke up. She could eat. We suspected malaria but tests proved negative. She was weak yes, but Friday was ok just as Saturday and Sunday. We watched the opening ceremony of the 2010 Africa Cup of Nations together – with her usual love for Cameroon while predicting that Cameroon would win the trophy..

On Monday I noted that she was not okay and I suggested we go to the hospital, a proposal she was not in favour of – “I will be okay Hastings,” she said but I insisted so we left for Mulanje Mission Hospital. She was diagnosed malaria plus 4! The two days of our stay in hospital were not good but on Thursday she was fine and all arrangements were in place for a discharge.

But lo! Evening of Thursday things just changed from nowhere.

I prayed so hard. I asked God to allow my wife live. I did all i could. The medical people did the best they could.

“Talk to me Emily,” I could ask her. She could only smile. I saw my wife failing to eat. Getting weaker by the minute. I noted she had something to say to me but could not manage. Saturday morning 16th January, 2010, Emily breathed last.

“Oh! Lord. Why me?” I cried. “Why me? Why should I be a widower? How about the little girls. Good Lord, why have you accepted that these girls grow without a mother?” yes it as difficult for whoever was around to control my noise.

We travelled to Lilongwe – the most painful trip in my life - on Sunday and burial took place on Monday the 18th January 2010 at Kawale cemetery. I saw those men putting her down into the grave.....

Emily Maloya (nee Kacheula)

She was a wife, a mother, a counsellor, a teacher and the peacemaker. We thank God that she was with us on a strong bond for 14 years without a break. As we celebrate her life and all we gained from her, we ask the Almighty God to rest her in eternal peace.

Hastings, and the daughters Taona-Eva and Tamanda-Eve

VOTE OF THANKS

It is after this dark cloud fell that the families of Maloya and Kacheula realised that we have caring friends and partners. This hard task was made bearable through your support. We thank you all for being with us through out the painful hours both in Mulanje and Lilongwe. Of great mention:

• His Excellency the President Ngwazi Dr Bingu wa Mutharika
• Prof. Etta Banda MP – Minister of Foreign Affairs
• Mrs. Patricia Kaliyati MP – Minister of Gender, Women and Child Development
• The Executive Director, Programme Officers, Management and staff of the Mulanje Mountain Conservation Trust (MMCT)
• Mulli Brothers Limited
• The Seventh- Day Adventist Church – Mulanje, Chitakale and Kawale
• The National Chairman and the entire executive committee of Mulhako wa Alhomwe
• Mr. Leston Mulli
• Mr. Ahmed Fattani – Fattani Offset Printers
• Mr. Gospel Kazako, Management and staff of Zodiak Broadcasting Station
• Mulanje Well Wishers Group
• Regional Chairman and committee Mulhako wa Alhomwe – South
• Regional Chairman and committee Mulhako wa Alhomwe - Centre
• Regional Chairman and committee Mulhako wa Alhomwe - East
• Chitakale Tea Estate
• Mr. Joseph Mwanamvekha
• Mr. Llyod Muhara
• Mr. Elvis Thodi
• Mr. H. Mathanga
• Mrs. Adhija Elizabeth Nangoma
• Media Council of Malawi
• Mulanje District Football League
• Mr. Daulos Mauambeta & Management of the Wildlife and Environmental Society of Malawi
• The Coordination Union for the Rehabilitation of the Environment (CURE)
• My forum friends (Namisa, Nyasanet, MalawiTalk, Dzimatsapota)
• Medical Staff – Mulanje Mission Hospital
• Amfumu Njedza ndi mudzi wonse wa Njedza
• Friends and relatives too numerous to mention

May our God of possibilities bless you all!